our life continued

To be brutally honest, I have no idea where I left off before. I’ll just say that Abby was born a beautiful 8lb 9oz at the end of August in the heat of the summer…

After moving back to my hometown, Abby’s dad and I lived with his parents before making it out on our own. We tried living together, and that lasted a whopping 6 months before our relationship fell apart once again. Here we are almost 3 years after, we tried on or two more times to make it work and neither of us had it in us.

I currently live in a tiny two bedroom apartment with Abs, our two pit bulls (one we are “babysitting” for her dad) and our kitten. I have moved on and fell in love with a wonderful man who is amazing to me and great with Abby. we are trying to adjust into the idea of maybe moving in together, but he is a 34 year old bachelor and I am, like I said, a 24 year old single parent who works and goes to school full time. Timing couldn’t be worse.

I work as a server/ bartender in a local bar on weekend nights. my typical shift is from 6pm to 4(ish) am. Not the best for raising a small child. Luckily, Abby’s dad has her Friday nights, Saturday nights, and all day Sunday. (well the babysitter has her, and he picks her up when his shift ends around 11pm) and I did meet my amazing boyfriend here 🙂

I am an education major and attend the local university every Tuesday and Thursday from 8am to 225pm, and luckily Abby’s preschool is two minutes away from campus. I really enjoy going to school but it is so frustrating. I have always been a server, not working in a restaurant will be a welcome change, but I am scared. I am scared that because I cut my hours to go to school, I won’t be able to pay our bills, I am scared that I am missing out on Abby’s childhood because I am always tired or working or studying. I am scared that I won’t make it through the program. So I am scared. ALL THE TIME!! and the feeling never goes away.

 

What’s funny is, I don’t post this to my facebook or anything, I don’t really care if my friends or family reads this, I don’t mind if no body reads it. I just need to write it all down sometimes. just get it off my chest.

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